Constructing a Submissive Cue Glossary

In BDSM, communication is key. But what happens when dirty talk or extensive discussion - or even words themselves - are the enemy?

Construct a glossary and give it to your Dominant.

If verbal communication is not your primary method of externalizing how you feel, you can think of all of the ways you show your feelings. Take a photo of each face or gesture, put it in a chart, and use a brief sentence to explain how you feel in any given situation.

This does not have to be a graphic, though a glossary of faces and gestures would be helpful. It can be told verbally at some point, or even demonstrated. It can also be written in list form:

* If I nuzzle my head against your body, this means I am being affectionate, though I would appreciate more physical contact.

* When I start to space out, I am becoming anxious and need to be pulled out of the situation I am in at the moment.

* Whining indicates that I am feeling a bit antagonized and would like to calm the session or play down.

* Crying is not a bad thing. If I am positioning in a more submissive way, that means I am open and vulnerable. I prefer to be handled as strictly as possible during this time.

There are so many ways to communicate, but it is also paramount that you understand while your Dominant may be very intuitive, nobody is a complete mind reader. Expecting something without making a statement is a rude and bratty behavior - one that I only tolerate to a point. Once the threshold of insolence is crossed, it is hard to get back on My good side. But coming up with ways to show that you want something is a perfect way to let a Dominant know what is going on with you without necessarily explaining it in the moment.