50 Shades of Trump
Surprise, surprise. Back to talking about 50 Shades again. Because if there's anything more beloved by the masses than taking BDSM out of context, it's using it to excuse abuse and violation.
Starting off: there is an extreme difference between Dominance and abuse. That difference is consent. Consent is a ubiquitous necessity, even for vanilla people! A lack of it is what elevates the average sexual experience from intercourse to sexual assault. It's what changes boxing to attempted murder. That which shifts the post from "getting a few drinks and having a one-night stand" to date rape. It transforms fun consensual bondage into an actual prison term. This EXACT same concept is applicable to a million different scenarios, some of which involve a sexual component, but many that do not.
Dominance is included in such aforementioned scenarios. BDSM involves a voluntary exchange of some power (and potentially nearly ALL power, in the case of TPE slave ownership) from an initiator to a secondary party. The key observation involves the fact that there has to be an initiating party. A seeker, a person in search of, someone who is yearning. It cannot just be SPRUNG upon someone, on the off chance that they're "okay" with the Dominant introducing a piss-poor behavior or inherently violent act, such as assault. An act, which, if intentionally sought out, would be perfectly fine to negotiate and execute, as long as both parties were enthusiastically ready and willing to participate. Without initiation, though... it's a problem. Further, what many vanilla observers do not realize is that this power exchange involves a huge amount of trust - dedication, agreement, negotiation, facilitated execution, and quite often mutual love, admiration, or at least respect.
So, let's talk about Trump, shall we? Not that I'm particularly enthusiastic about discussing inhuman scumbags, but it's necessary to myth-bust this idea that all men, especially those of a Dominant ilk, will or should (given half a chance) behave or speak about women in this fashion. Without further ado, here are some of the things the Donald has said about women:
"Just kiss. I don't even wait. And when you're a star they let you do it. You can do anything. Whatever you want. Grab 'em by the pussy. You can do anything."
"Well, I'll tell you the funniest is that before a show, I'll go backstage and everyone's getting dressed, and everything else, and you know, no men are anywhere, and I'm allowed to go in because I'm the owner of the pageant and therefore I'm 'inspecting' it..."
"You know, I'm inspecting because I want to make sure that everything is good. You know, the dresses. 'Is everyone okay?' You know, they're standing there with no clothes. 'Is everybody okay?' And you see these incredible looking women, and so, I sort of get away with things like that."
Back to what I said about consent. Even in a case where the perceptible arrangement is a D/s (Dominant/submissive) one, it is not ever acceptable in BDSM to simply grab a woman by her genitals. It is not okay to force yourself on her; Christian Grey, Donald Trump, or otherwise. As a seasoned professional who has helped D/s couples reach optimal control/surrender differentials in their relationships, I've never once suggested any Dominant force themselves on a submissive - even when they've been together for years and trust each other with their lives. Such an action could very well dissolve trust, therefore rendering the relationship abusive, rather than a BDSM-oriented configuration.
Whether or not you put stock in the idea of "rape culture" there is definitely an air of toxic masculinity in modern America. Sure, there are family-oriented men in the GOP who renounce Donald Trump's horrible behavior (just like Trump fervently denounced Anthony Weiner as a sexual deviant and pervert...), and those men should be thought of as decent humans. But the ones who are not should be weeded out and systematically ruined.
There are few occasions that I have to address BDSM in the mainstream media, but it seems like that amount is getting higher with passing weeks. I shall be spending a good portion of time interviewing professionals in the field of psychology, BDSM, and other related studies, and releasing those at some point. If you have leads, friends, contacts, or other opportunities (suggestions, even) - I'm all ears.
