It is exceedingly difficult for even the most pliable of submissives to make the transformative Total Power Exchange (TPE), and enter into so-called “slavery”.

The slave wants to rebel, break free, fight back. Their own narratives are central to their desires. Their whims come first.

So, what happens if they give them up?

Many things, if the Dominant is a good one.

The initial surrender may feel terrifying, especially to a person who is as guarded as most submissives are. Because Dominance is so commonly abused, slaves must practice all of the disciplines of self-preservation and keeping parts of themselves untouched by others, because of judgment, scorn, and shame. Slaves are discarded fairly regularly and therefore cultivate an atmosphere of "this Dominant is temporary" and try not to pin all of their possibilities on one person.

This may occur as a consequence of real-life action, but more often than not it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Because the Dominant cannot count on the endurance and dependence of a finicky or frightened, self-obsessed slave, the Dominant will see no point in dominating someone who will not willingly or enthusiastically surrender. And so the cycle continues; the discard begins.

So, how is this cycle prevented? The key is to quit being so terrified. If you trust a Dominant enough to give them agency over you in life (and possibly even death), you must be willing to demonstrate that. More than words to show you feel that your submission is for real. Start to consider the following:

1. What will happen if I relinquish this power to my Dominant?

- if the answer is, "I will die" then you have the wrong Dominant.

- if the answer is, "I may be afraid, but I trust my Dominant to make great decisions" then you're on the right track.

- if the answer is, "I don't know, but I can imagine a million disaster scenarios" then you're looking from the wrong eyes.

Giving power to your Dominant should not hurt you. It might be scary (especially to those with anxiety or other mood disruptions) but it shouldn't damage your life in any way.

2. How can I look at things differently?

- if you have NO vision for your ideal life with your Dominant, that's the first problem.

- if you can imagine all of the chaos and bedlam, but not a happy ideal in your mind, that's the other problem.

- if you are being obstinate and sticking to all of the gory mindfucks of fear, STOP.

GET AN IDEAL. CREATE A VISION. START WORKING TOWARD IT.

The phrase goes, "when you have nothing to stand for, you'll fall for anything." This is the same with idealization. If you don't have goals, visions, markers of success - your brain will fill in all of the missing details with car crashes, succumbing to disease, and everything bad. So work toward the good. And always keep your Dominant primary in your mind.