Session Goals
When entering into a position of risk, the reward is not simply the act of risk-taking. Something has to incentivize such a situation, making it — as they say — "worth the risk". In the case of a professional session, one is risking the loss associated with Tributing for a session that ends up being a letdown. This creates fear of the session ending without meeting a particular goal (or set of them). This is an unfounded fear, seen as legitimate only because the submissive is unaware that I carefully create goals before and during a session, which are met before the session is over.
Transparency is an important concept that I hold dearly, so I will reveal some of the goals I set for sessions:
Framing: Suspending the everyday reality of a submissive's life, I use framing to set the scene and establish that the usual cultural expectations regarding acceptable human behavior are no longer necessary to follow. The exploration of gender, self-awareness, power dynamics, and what makes you human can commence. The predominant model of masochism is a condition in which your social identity is removed, and thus the burden of conventional personhood and all its trappings (responsibility, failures, expectations, etc) are removed. A state of low-level self-awareness is achieved, and unwanted thoughts or feelings such as guilt, anxiety, or insecurity fall away.
Flow: Once the scene is framed, there is room for the beginning of what is termed "transient hypofrontality" - a temporary impairment of executive function in the brain during which a submissive can experience feelings of floating, being "at peace" - time dilation (the slowing of time in your perception), and a complete presence with your body and surroundings.
Feeling: Reductions of stressful feelings, increases in pleasurable ones, and an overall positive effect is in order. With pain-oriented play, there is a possible narcotic effect observed, and various mental states are altered accordingly. Sensations, sensory deprivation, and other physical feelings are explored. Use of emotions to work through trauma, grief, or anguish may occur.
Freeing: In bondage, it is impossible to exert initiative or control, and therefore to take responsibility for actions or decisions. With humiliation, it is not possible to sustain one's dignity, self-esteem, or social identity and therefore the burden of doing so is removed. In roleplaying, the submissive can become a different person entirely: the ultimate fulfillment to be rid of your "regular" self. A transformation may take place. Masochistic activity reduces the self to a bare minimum, and all of the abstractions of high-level and symbolic thinking are no longer weighing heavily on the submissive involved.
At any point, if the session is getting too difficult, a call of "yellow" may be given by the submissive. If I hear this word, I will slow down, change up, or do what is necessary to get back to a positive point. It is rarely ever used, however, as I read the bodies on which I am working. A safe word is given, if you have some sort of emergency.
The beneficial effects of a session can range from a pleasant mood-booster all the way to a cathartic transformational breakthrough. Since quite a bit of how I conduct sessions revolves around achieving these various states, I do the very best I can, as a seasoned professional practitioner of BDSM, to meet and potentially even exceed these goals.
And now that we're referring to benefits, the things I gain (as a Sadist, Dominant) are very similar. In facilitating amazing sessions, I experience a "Topspace" (flow) where I gain sharply focused attention, optimized performance, and various other benefits as well. So I do not "do" this purely for monetary gain: I do it because I absolutely adore being a Dominatrix. Because of this, I will never need drugs or any mind-altering substances to craft a beautiful session. I will never "phone it in" or just go through the motions. Further, it is for these reasons that I tailor each session to the individual. This is what I love, and I've chosen it mindfully and appreciatively.
