Domination in Stages: Hegelian Dialectics and D/s relationships.

Posted by Madame Rax on Sunday, December 15, 2013 Under: D/s Dynamics
In the more philosophy-heavy sects of BDSM, practitioners will discuss Foucault and hierarchies of power. This has an obvious connection: D/s dynamics are reflections of the "natural order" brought about by the human desire for organization. I, however, prefer to make more subtle connections to behavioral mechanisms within My own brand of Domination. I use a system in which I like to draw on an altered form of Hegelian dialectics, specifically the so-called "freedom dialectic" or, more appropriately, the "Master-slave dialectic". 

In the original triad, there are three stages: thesis, antithesis, and synthesis. In My particular incarnation, the process goes from a type of bondage in that need/drive to submit to a higher being than oneself, then trying to fight that urge (believing instead that the Self should be preserved, because submission seems counter-intuitive to "building character" and "improving oneself," - all the selfishness that we've been imbued with for many years of our lives, to surrendering to the worthiest of deities, in order to experience true freedom. 

<Thesis> Stage 1: Loneliness, the undying urge to seek out a living manifestation of a deity. Even though it's clear on an existential level that no human can be a true living god, there is still a search. A void in your life that you can feel in the area between your shoulder blades and breastbone. Constant searching, a hardened callous forming from typing and clicking and begging and wishing. It begins that you start to do puerile things in order to gain SOME attention, because you feel faceless in a crowd of submissive humans, searching for their god. It seems as you get closer, you are really losing sight of your goal: to find a beautiful creature who can take you, shape you, and control you - so you can rest and be free. 

<Antithesis> Stage 2: This time, you have found someone. It is no longer a far-off goal, you have the Real Thing. Everything you had previously believed about the search being fruitless is gone. You've gotten what you desired so badly. But then your humanity kicks in. Is that a flaw? Can my living deity suffer as a human would? Cracks start to form in the foundation of your idealized notion of this creature. In them you recognize some of your own quirks and flaws. As you grow closer to them, you start to see the similarities between your own unworthy behavior and theirs. Can they be like you? Can it be true that on the inside you are all just flesh, blood, fats, and moving parts? Then they do something that absolutely KILLS you. How could they be so careless in handling such a fragile creature? How could they NOT know what you were thinking? This is the time you start to fear for your own life. Will this end as badly as I imagine? What if this person isn't who they say they are? What if they ruin me and I have nothing to show for it? Building trust seems impossible, as you are trying to save yourself. 

<Synthesis> Stage 3: If you didn't jump the proverbial ship in the Antithesis stage, there is a high likelihood that you can make it to the Synthesis stage. It's been established that all humans are capable of mistakes, and that your incredible breathing mass of power in human form can and will do things that may make you cringe. This is where you learn to surrender to the beauty of acceptance. Once you can accept your special relic in all their raw glory, you can begin to appreciate the gift that has been bestowed upon you. It starts to become evident to you that your way of thinking needs to change, that lives which are now enmeshed need to establish working order - that both of your minds are subject to change about a myriad of the infinite possibilities of life. However, you start to value your person-deity. You deeply cherish their very being, which completes you and guides you in all the ways you may not understand perfectly, as yet. The craving for fulfillment is gone, now replaced with the freedom of surrender. Truly, you know the meaning of "happiness in slavery" and can float along with that feeling for the rest of your lives, if that is the wish of your perfect being.

In : D/s Dynamics 

Tags: d/s  relationships  dynamics 

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