The Surveillance Project

July 2, 2022
With the pandemic, quite a few things went "remote." Meetings, sessions, and even medical visits have moved from the physical realm to the digital one. Due to this, there has been an increasing focus on the ability to monitor the vitals, whereabouts, activities, and physiological state of individuals. To be clear, there is no upside to losing 1M+ humans to a preventable illness - but there have been silver linings for some BDSM practitioners. And this is what we'll be trying to emphasize in such a bleak and disconnected time. Hopefully, this will bring you at least a bit of joy. Unless you don't deserve it. HA!

I am going to be collaborating with a submissive (whom I personally chose, I respect and adore him) for an experimental series that documents emergent technology being appropriated for BDSM purposes. The focus will be tracking, surveillance, control, and potentially tangentially-related activities like incentive structures, punishment, and accountability. I'll touch on being able to "wear without showing" quite a few numbers, since I'm aware that many readers would appreciate tips on being discreet. I will also break some other social conventions; I'll discuss money, politics, and how to incorporate BDSM principles in other areas of your daily life!

Madame's back, and SHE IS EXCITED. 

 

Domestic Training

December 14, 2019
These days, I am moving past professional sessions and more into household slavery / Domme at Home practices. 

As such, I've spent a considerable amount of time learning how to hone the Domestic training regimen. 

Checklists

For the purpose of organization, it is paramount to keep a list of tasks that need to be done. Here is a sample from Molly Maid in PDF format. If you're a Boomer, feel free to ask a Millennial relative to save and open it for you. https://www.mollymaid.com/documents/pdfs/MLY_OUW_HouseCleaningChecklist.pdf. Throughout the cleaning process, it's helpful to structure cleaning from top to bottom, in an order that makes the most sense for efficacy. 
Technique and Skills

When it comes to actual servitude, there are a variety of resources to behold. 

Laying an American Table: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9sBlLJOxNk.
Carrying multiple plates: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIIR2d_vIz0
"Butler" Service: https://youtu.be/faNFNmspO6Q
American Guest Service (individual, detail): https://youtu.be/IglgwMkS-IM
Tea and Coffee Service: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TOwyRhqCzE
Canapes (Finger Foods): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvYJLb2C7aU

Butler & Maid Services

At the end of the day, one must contribute with a net positive effect to the overall running of a household, or the domestic servant is actually more trouble than he's worth. See, Emily Post's Well-Appointed House: https://www.bartleby.com/95/12.html

Happy serving!

 

If.

November 17, 2019
If you regale Me with stories of extreme sessions, I expect you to have extreme endurance.
If you don't perform extremely, I assume you are simply talking.

If you say you want an extreme transformation, I expect you'll excel at every task I give along the way.
If you don't perform to the best of your ability, I assume you don't have much.

If you can trust any past Dominants with your life, I expect you'll trust Me when I push you towards the finish line.
If you don't perform in a way that suggests trust, I assume it's lacking. 

If you can exhibit self-discipline in any area of existence, I expect you'll be able to regulate your emotions.
If you don't uphold social standards, I assume you're not worthwhile.  

If, if, if. 
 

The Art of Sublime Invasion: Surveillance (pt. 2)

September 13, 2019
Now that you have a harmonious scene of information symmetry - an omnipresent look at their life, as a non-intervention deity - it's time to invade. Whereas before you were just gathering information necessary to change their life, you're now using what you've observed. Ideally, the surveillance methods come with some method of control, which hasn't been implemented during the observation period. Smart Home / Phone Invasion! 

And of course, first be sure to get enthusiastic consent before trying any of these.  

The same programs you use for surveillance can be allowed to act as methods control. Some programs I've used and personally recommend are Mobile Tracker Free for Android and SpyFone for iOS. Both (paid versions) include restriction / blocking features and even some remote control features. 


The detail of each of these:

FOOD - 
  • Modify intake. This can include food or calorie counters, tracking receipts, weighing food, and restrictions. Special diets, carb / caloric restrictions, approved snack lists, and other forms of control can also be used. Additionally, if a slave is too thin or eats in an unhealthy way, the same sorts of modifications can be used to do the opposite of restriction. 
  • Plan meals. There are a lot of meal planning tools. My favorite is Plan to Eat because it populates a grocery list and you can remove items a slave already has in their possession. Purchasing meal services and other "kits" can be helpful as well. If a slave requires a large amount of weight loss, there are options for that as well - and the bonus of those is that they're often bland and joyless - punishment food!
  • Food delivery. Having a slave's address means you can have food delivered to them - either from a grocery store or from a restaurant. Either way, this is a delightful method of control that is always easily done from afar. 
HOME - 
  • Bedtime. Most Americans have difficulty moderating bedtime routines, schedules, and sleep hygiene. Asserting a bedtime can be further enhanced by enforced phone restriction, turning off their lights, cutting off electricity to their televisions, and shutting off their computer (via TeamViewer). If a slave has in-room monitoring you may also check periodically to ensure they're in bed. 
  • Activities. This is a euphemism for any free time, and specifically sexual - if you care to assert such control. Chastity, orgasm output evidence, porn / parental restrictions on their computers and phones, and a variety of other things can be done to assert your power over their sexual function. This can extend to nonsexual leisure time as well; cutting off television / social media usage, restricting their intake of video games, news and other modern distractions. Additionally, things can be added and enforced for their benefit - such as guests, dinner parties, visits to professionals, etc.  
  • Environment. If a slave has any in-home methods of control, use them. This can include Nest, Amazon / Google Home, and consoles for lights or electronics. With these, you can make it hotter or colder - dim, bright, pitch black. Their home is your oyster; make it however you want it. This can be used for punishment, comfort, or other sensory feedback the slave may be craving. Environment can also be covered by other parts of the above chart, such as the amount of food a slave has, or whether or not there is music playing on speakers or smart home devices and if you allow or restrict guests. 
APPEARANCE - 
  • Wardrobe. The slave's wardrobe can be enhanced or changed at will, with the advent of online shopping. I recommend sending a slave to a local clothier to be fitted and measured, and then obtain items of high quality every so often. Ensure tailoring, bespoke / custom clothes where possible. This will force your slave out of their typical mode and create a new facade for them to show very impressed circles of those who surround them at work or in their families. 
  • Hygiene. Depending on their routine (which you will typically figure out during the surveillance stage), you may want to make modifications to how they shave, cleanse, smell, present themselves, or feel. Skincare items, cologne, body oils, lotions, and other items may be purchased online. The establishing of a few routines and things may enhance their quality of life, such as safety razor rituals, teaching them a beautiful tie knot to polish their look, and instructing them to learn any of the hygiene bits in 100 Skills a Man Should Know.  
  • Posture & Presentation. Does your slave have a non-graceful, clunky walk? Is he slouchy or otherwise manspreads? All of these can be corrected in various ways. Orthopedic shoes, spine straighteners, undergarment posture correction girdles, are useful. Give them periodic reminders when they're being watched. 
ACTIVITIES - 
  • Meetups & munches. Even though your slave may be distant from you physically, you can control who has access to them. By discovering local meetups, support groups, munches, and events, sending them to things is a great way to keep them busy and enrich their weaker areas. If you find that they're touch starved, you may send them to cuddle parties or FemDom clubs. If they wish to be pimped out or require sexual encounters, you may solicit hookup apps or ISO listings. Should the sub wish to hone their service skills, you can sign them up to learn the art of serving tea or to take butler classes. Even vanilla classes or gatherings can become BDSM ones by introducing the element of surprise, "force," or specific instructions. 
  • Growth. It goes without saying that many of these items will be for the growth of the slave. The best Dominants are those who will always delight in micromanagement, even if the goals aren't reached immediately. Slaves are best when they're in top condition; to serve us in a way that is mutually beneficial is wonderful. Even if they initially don't understand why, we resolve to have a clear picture of what they need. In fact, even Dominants can use a third-party perspective sometimes, so feel free to discuss with the people whom they interact with about the good or bad things they observe about your dear one. This comes in handy because they may always discover new things about themselves and continue to realize new dreams or aspirations that you can help them reach.
  • *Finances* With each individual slave, there will be a greater or lesser emphasis on finance (or Financial Domination) - but this much is true: regardless of how much we love this work, it takes a large amount of effort, time, and money to do all of these things. So if your slave wishes to have you manage every red cent (receipts, accounts, investments, and more), that's great. If they mostly wish to be monitored and controlled, but their finances are only background to that, also delightful. But many of the activities cost money or opportunity. All of which should boil down to you receiving a generous tribute. Appreciation is best expressed with dollars. Unless you wish to go on "strike" - pay your Dominant well; and be amenable to their hand in negotiation.
Once these have all been put in place or achieved, you will likely find even more ways to control your slave. This is the best part, in my opinion. BDSM is infinitely fascinating, beautiful, and ultimately a perfect tool for self-actualization!
 

With All of Madame's Eyes.

September 6, 2019
I have detailed logs of each and every IP address, location, page visit, link clicked, path followed. Reports are generated. Stats are tracked. Pretend that you can live your life without reaching out. Carry on the masquerade. Make  the painfully obvious justifications. Keep looking; I still see you. 
 

The Art of Sublime Invasion: Surveillance (pt. 1)

August 1, 2019
As far as men go, it is not what they are that interests me, but what they can become. —Jean-Paul Sartre

According to the Japanese: The 本音 (honne), or private self, is the sum of the "true" thoughts / wishes of a person. The 建前 (tatemae), or public face, is the version shown to the public. Muslims call these ظاهر (baten) and باطن (zaher), respectively. In America, we refer to these as our "authentic self" and our "Facebook facade." In any case, the idea that our private lives vs. public personae are divided is nearly universal. It can be posited that this divide serves several functions: privacy, dignity, preservation, self-respect, and safety.



Whatever the advantage of having a private self is, the existence of this dichotomy complicates human social structure. It can cause a major discrepancy between how a person wants to live and what they're actually doing with their lives. Freud (as discredited as he's been on various matters) referred to the harmony and disharmony of these as egosyntonic and egodystonic. In an egosyntonic state, goals and actions are consistent with the subject's ideal self. In an egodystonic state, there is a dissonant relationship between the actions, compulsions, etc - and the ideal self. Simply put, a person is either living according to their innermost values, or they aren't. And if they aren't, there are a host of problems they can expect to incur: regret, fear of missing out, anxiety, depression, and unspecified inner turmoil of many types. Jean-Paul Sarte galvanizes the explanation of why this happens with his concept of "mauvaise foi" - the ugly habit that people have of deceiving themselves into thinking that they do not have the freedom to make choices for fear of the potential consequences of making them.

But since a private life is often painfully private (and subject to scrutiny once outed), it can be difficult to communicate the entirety of The Self to another person. Such information asymmetry can be problematic for both parties in a D/s dynamic, especially. As a Dominant, one can be expected to push for growth, challenge, and positive change.

So, how can we remove this obstacle in order to act as a catalyst in a submissive's life?
Answer: TEAR DOWN THE WALLS. 

Sometimes the best way to get inside someone's head is to invade their whole life. So, with enthusiastic permission and a potentially alarming amount of trust, bleed into it. Fill every single orifice until you're so far into it that it feels like your own. Infiltrate and gather all of the intelligence. This is an intense bonding opportunity, and I highly recommend it. Get inside of their skin. Breathe with their lungs. Exist in their being. 

Ways to get in, using their Internet of Things - detail view:

PHONE - using tracker software you can see their locations, listen to phone calls, monitor internet use, look through front and rear cameras, view text messages, emails, screenshots, calendar, and quite a few other things.  

SYSTEMS - Get into their home alarms, Amazon devices / other Smart Home systems, CCTVs, digital monitoring software, Ring-type doorbell cams, motion sensors, computer webcams.

SOCIAL / ART- Observe their friends, social media, listen to their stories, see their photos, look at their archives, learn their circles, look at their preferences for art, music, film, and literature. 

FINANCIAL - Bank accounts, cryptocurrency, bookkeeping software (Quicken, Mint, etc), finance trackers, investment portfolios, asset statements, mortgage / bill information, loan accounts, CDs, and other financial holdings have internet presence and logins. 

ACTIVITIES - Tasks, events, parties, scheduled classes, and other social situations can be tracked and verified a number of ways. Even calling a restaurant, teacher, or hotel can do the trick. Fitbit, MyFitnessPal, MapMyRun, and Fitness trackers can be used for exercise, food intake, water consumption, and physical activity.  

SEXUAL - Chastity (with or without cage), orgasm control.

PRIVATE / PERSONAL - Have them journal, read their diary, check their Amazon purchases, read their mail, go through their receipts, ask lots of questions (especially those surrounding painful subjects). Peruse their will. Read their list of beneficiaries, look at their 101 in 1,001. Find the bucket list. Use TeamViewer as much as you're able.

Once you get a feel for how the submissive has their routine, any weak spot or unrealized dream can be fortified and used to set a goal. I will save most of this for part two of this blog post, but I'll outline some brief examples -  have you noticed that they lack intimacy? Send them on a surprise trip to a Professional Cuddler (I have the name of an amazing one in New York City, while we're on the subject). Do they have difficulty with etiquette? Send them to a class for refinement. Are they regrettably uncharitable? Set them up to volunteer at a soup kitchen. Do they procrastinate going to sleep at a predetermined time? Shut off their lights at 10pm each night. Even blackmail is enhanced using these surveillance tactics, if it's engaged in enthusiastically. 

BDSM is nothing if not mutually enjoyed and beneficial to everyone involved. Help them build the most important parts of their life. Create their dreams with them. Make sure they live every moment to its full potential. Don't let them die wondering. 



 

True Life: I Have a Domestic Slave

January 6, 2019
Okay, MTV, let's not get ahead of ourselves - I actually have two household drudges. I preside happily over these workhorse submissives; it feels like the most natural order. As I have mentioned before, I absolutely love domestic slaves. I am currently working on assembling a dream, wherein I live in a castle attended by a team of slaves plodding along like a well-oiled machine in order to free up My time to focus more on the most important work: BDSM. I call this The Castle Plan; I will be the Queen of such a scenario one day.  



During the last 14 years of her reign, Queen Victoria had an Indian "attendant" named Abdul Karim, with whom she had a respected, adoring relationship of mutual benefit. I have the same, although he prefers the term "slave." It is pleasing to both of U/us to see echoes across time. I have the beginnings of his detailed written accounts of this time with Me, which I hope to someday publish with My memoirs. First steps to the realization of The Castle Plan! If you are reading this and you have a castle? I'll take it. If you are reading this and you are a domestic drudge that revels in spending your life slaving away for a Goddess? Write to Me. 

The other aforementioned slave and I have a consent agreement that stipulates I am able to whore her out using whatever legal means available. It is a 12-page document that was signed with both ink and blood that she is bound to Me, and I dictate the terms of her life. Whore drudgery: online sex work, camming, PSO, private dances, etc. To finalize this, all pages were read out loud, discussed at length, and legitimized by witnesses. It was glorious, and My pimp juice level has never been higher. ALL GLORY TO MADAME!



Insofar as I am able to accomplish everything Myself, drudges are not technically necessary to My survival. But they are essential to My quality of life. I work quite hard, so being able to have slaves shoulder the burdens eases the difficult balancing act of all that I do. So much value is added by these lovely creatures, and of course quite a lot of trust is placed in them to come into My home and do what I ask. 


 

Holding Submissives Accountable (pt. II)

December 2, 2018
(Click here for Pt. I if you haven't read it yet.)

I received a quality message from a long-distance submissive the other day:



The messages go on to outline how exactly this situation will be ameliorated, and it was. This is a perfect example, despite the notable lack of "I apologize." A trifecta: acceptance, confession, action. Here is the breakdown:



Acceptance creates the conditions necessary to overcome an obstacle. When a submissive understands that their behavior is problematic, it starts the chain reaction. They can hem and haw about why they allowed a hiccup to happen or persist, but the core of the interaction should be an agreement, rather than obfuscation. Yes, I did this. Yes, I caused this. Yes, it is a problem. See the flow chart if a submissive cannot understand why something is a genuine concern. I am not a fan of "there's nothing I can do about this" because I believe at the core of depression and misery is a learned helplessness that stops a submissive from self-actualizing. 


Confession does so many things and is invaluable to a proper apology. Not only is the submissive accepting that they caused a problem -- they're looking for other related behaviors in a display of naked vulnerability. They could have made excuses or deceived the Dominant, but instead they offered details they didn't have to, in order to proactively address the problem in a holistic way. As the submissive in the screen shot said, "why be a sub if not to stand before You [...] with our mistakes nakedly exposed?" Dominance requires leadership, and how can a leader guide and direct without a full picture of what's happening with their constituents? Answer: blindly and ineffectively. For your Dominant to be operating at 100%, one must put all of their cards on the table; even when it's unpleasant. 



Action is the solidifying factor in an apology. Yes, the submissive has accepted the problem, confessed the entire scope of it, and now it's time for the submissive to demonstrate that they're putting forth the effort necessary to achieve apology status. As Dominants, we don't (or shouldn't) make up problems simply for the hell of it. We expend a lot of energy to analyze, urge, and communicate the issue... knowing full well that it may develop into a conflict rather than a fix. There is the risk of rejection, having to endure lies or whining, and being subjected to a battery of blurry drivel about why a submissive would rather not bother to work on the problem. It is quite easy to lose respect for a submissive when they become embroiled in an effort to shirk responsibility or avoid apologies. So this process (entirely) is the antidote to that. 

Once all three steps are complete, there is a deeper connection. When submissives demonstrate willingness and ability to fix problems (in devotion to their Master), they are truly fulfilling their purpose and helping to build a better dynamic. Perhaps most importantly, the lives of both submissive and Dominant are enhanced. Improvement is always a noble goal and everyone must do their part toward that end.  

To illustrate what happens if any of these conditions are missing, here is a handy formula for how an "apology" ends:

- acceptance + confession + action = empty actions, since original premise was rejected.
+ acceptance - confession + action = partial fix, but everything wasn't addressed and more problems will arise.
+ acceptance + confession - action = was a fake apology, likely to shut the Dominant up. 


In order for a fix to be lasting and real, all three parts are necessary. 
 

Holding Submissives Accountable (pt. I)

November 29, 2018
As Dominants, we've encountered submissives who chronically try to avoid liability and blame. They'll say anything possible to get out of trouble. They'll make excuses, become withdrawn/avoidant, and deflect - going to great lengths to take the focus off a problem they've created. But this creates a new problem; because they’re busy steering clear of culpability, they’re refusing to ameliorate the actual stumbling block.

“BUT MY CHILDHOOD”
“BUT MY FEELINGS”
“BUT WHEN I WAS A KID”
“BUT WHEN I WAS ABUSED”
“BUT WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER”



If you remove the “but” all of those phrases have their own value. They indicate touchy and/or difficult things the submissive has to work through in order to achieve a desired outcome. And if you’re a particularly good Dominant, they’ll have the conditions necessary to do so… and will. With the addition of the “but,” however, it becomes an excuse. The focus has been shifted from mending the underlying issue to denying the validity of it.

 

I mentioned earlier that this refusal to be held accountable creates a second problem. Dominance is a tool used to solve problems and foster growth/development. So how is a submissive doubling the Dominant’s work in problem solving? In this case it is helpful to view problems as obstacles. The first obstacle is the original problematic behavior, which must be overcome. The second obstacle, which is created by the submissive, is that they refuse to accept responsibility and work toward overcoming the first obstacle. This creates a wholly unnecessary set of hoops a Dominant must jump through before the initial problem is “accepted,” in order for work to begin on fixing it.   



Unless a submissive is in a TPE dynamic (which I wrote about here), they may communicate when they think the Dominant is being unreasonable. After all, this is not written in support of unquestioned authority or noncommunicative dynamics. At this point it behooves the Dominant to have reasons to support why a problem is a problem. At the core of this quandary is this question: “would life be better for both parties if this behavior/scenario were fixed?” If yes (or it directly contributes to a condition in which the answer is yes), it is a problem. This is a brief conundrum at best, and should not be used to obscure guilt or delay a resolution. If it’s simply a matter of the Dominant’s preference being upheld out of laziness or convenience, that isn’t sufficient to call something a problem. A Dominant must hold themselves to a high standard as well.

Part II of this series will examine how to optimize the submissive apology.


 

Sexual Sublimation: A Chastity Retrospective

August 20, 2018
In My personal life, I have recently given up a very emotionally time-consuming habit. It has led to freeing up a LOT of time and energy, which I will use to be more productive in a BDSM capacity. And as soon as this liberation occurred, I considered just how draining it was to live the way I had for quite some time. This process of funneling led Me to reflect on our bodies, psychological states, and what we do with both. Which brought Me to Chastity. 



Having seen a few divergent prevailing ideas regarding sexual energy as fuel, I am choosing to focus on those which require abstinence. But first, a few notes on sexual energy:

If you've been castrated, chemically or physically (without HRT), it's likely you'll note that you lost quite a bit of motivation due to the lack of hormones your body produces. Testosterone enhances desire to mate, and with that drive comes a host of competitive and potentially aggressive behaviors that lead to a focus on achieving higher social status, financial success, etc. That said, it's easy to conclude that the more sex someone has, the more testosterone they produce, thus a greater productivity level. Sex = Greater Productivity, right? Not necessarily so. 

There are a few schools of thought (some with empirical evidence) that chastity can be used to increase productivity. I will examine NoFap, Ananda, and sexual transmutation. Lastly, I will discuss cage usage, problems, and relief. 

NoFap meme about addiction

NoFap is a website, online forum, and subreddit which seeks to help interested individuals reduce / eliminate masturbation and the usage of internet pornography in order to channel sexual energy into greater pursuits. This started as a result of a thread posted to Reddit discussing a 2003 study which found, "men who refrain from masturbation for seven days experience a 145.7% spike in testosterone levels on the seventh day." Dopamine debt and oversaturation of pleasure centers in the brain without a commensurate level of work are explored in this concept. Challenges and achieving goals are central to this practice. This specific phenomenon has been around for about 7 years and has a fairly large presence on YouTube (even down to this animated instructional video). This method has been criticized as being mired in misogyny and toxic masculinity, but these are not integral to obtain benefits. Those who practice NoFap are a varied group of individuals; predominantly men, but with a large disparity of religious, cultural, and socioeconomic backgrounds.



Ananda is a global spiritual movement which includes “meditation, Kriya Yoga, spiritually-oriented Hatha Yoga, community, and divine friendship.” It explores using yoga and other methods to push sexual energy "upward" to make it a "higher" energy. There is a definitive 10 Ways to Transmute Sexual Energy guide on their website. They also have instructional articles about spiritualizing sexual force and overcoming sexual desire. They also discourage physical contact between two "unsuited" souls, which even extends to hugging or social niceties such as opening doors. Chastity is their purported key to godliness, here. 



Sexual transmutation is a process used by many philosophies and intellectual traditions to achieve one of many things: purpose, achievement, higher awareness, and other ostensible benefits. Various dabblers include Taoists (who explore the power of "Jing"), self-help gurus (such as Victor Pride and Scott Jeffrey), and I would be remiss to exclude a group that is mired in controversy: MGTOW (although arguably their approach extends into unhealthy coping strategies that pit them against women, as even Jordan Peterson has explained). To be clear, I am not endorsing any of these ideas specifically, but I do renounce disconnection from -- and hatred of -- women. Freud held that sublimation, specifically of the sexual variety, was key to being mature and integral to psychological balance

In BDSM, Chastity occupies a very similar role. Depending on the perception of the submissive, employing a chastity device may create the conditions necessary to produce sexual sublimation easily. This can also involve transference of the sexual control to a third party, and act as an intensely bonding and romantic gesture. Just as monogamy (without infidelity) is seen as an ultimate commitment, chastity is seen as an even more acute sacrifice to a trusted loved one. There are also other uses for chastity, such as increasing sexual focus and awareness for sufferers of low drive or erectile dysfunction, but as I noted... it really depends on what the device is being used for

For non-op (I hesitate to use "pre-op" since it isn't universal) trans women, it can be a source of comfort and calm to "lock away" their external genitals. This way, it is easy to think of them as both controlled and "out of sight, out of mind." Dysphoria can be mitigated with extensive chastity usage. My 24/7 slave is trans, and she is unhappy, moody, and overall less well-behaved than I prefer when she's out of her "dicklet" cage. Being locked confers a feeling of harmony within her. I prefer it as well!


 


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