Showing Tag: "dynamics" (Show all posts)

The Rapture of Surrender

Posted by Madame Rax on Tuesday, May 29, 2018, In : Madame's Own 
It is exceedingly difficult for even the most pliable of submissives to make the transformative Total Power Exchange (TPE). 

The slave wants to rebel, break free, fight back. Their own narratives are central to their desires. Their whims come first.

So what happens if they give them up? 

Many things, if the Dominant is a good one. 

The initial surrender may feel terrifying, especially to a person who is as guarded as most submissives are. Because Dominance is so commonly abused, slaves must pract...
Continue reading ...
 

The Guilt / Shame Cycle

Posted by Madame Rax on Tuesday, April 24, 2018, In : D/s Dynamics 
Due to the nature of My work, I have taken many submissives who experience a very profound cycle.

Lurking and Learning - they try to get to know Me on a desperate level. Furiously Googling every corner of the web for My name and permutations of My contact information to try to figure out if I'm "safe" and "sane." Looking for evidence that I'm some sort of whatever their worst case scenario is. Cannot find it, because I'm not a thief and I'm far too much of an anarchist to cooperate with author...
Continue reading ...
 

My Domination Toolbox

Posted by Madame Rax on Friday, April 13, 2018, In : Madame's Own 
In order to be an effective Dominant, I've gone through a long process of acquiring tools and honing techniques. Each one I've honed to My liking. As I always say, Dominance is getting your slave to want what YOU want... for their benefit -- and ultimately yours.

The tools I've developed for this are the following:
 
Logic
Exampling
Punishment
Tease/Denial
Conditioning
Sexuality
Force

Logic is a tool that is most effective for convincing a slave they *need* to do something, or they'll naturally e...

Continue reading ...
 

Constructing a Submissive Cue Glossary

Posted by Madame Rax on Wednesday, December 14, 2016, In : Madame's Own 
In BDSM, communication is key. But what happens when dirty talk or extensive discussion - or even words themselves - are the enemy? 

Construct a glossary and give it to your Dominant.

If verbal communication is not your primary method of externalizing how you feel, you can think of all of the ways you show your feelings. Take a photo of each face or gesture, put it in a chart, and use a brief sentence to explain how you feel in any given situation.



This does not have to be a graphic, though a gl...

Continue reading ...
 

All Women Secretly Love Being Dominated

Posted by Madame Rax on Saturday, December 10, 2016, In : Personal Interests 
If you have ever read the comments on an article about consent or courting women, you will likely see the phrase "deep down, all women love to be dominated." I am personally met with inquiries fairly regularly: "Madame, You are a powerful, sexy woman, I bet You just LOVE let your hair down and take the business end of a whip, or get a firm backhand from an Alpha Male, right?" After all, it would make sense to be a Person-of-Power activity - male CEOs have the stereotype that they all love to ...
Continue reading ...
 

50 Shades of Trump: A Dominatrix's View.

Posted by Madame Rax on Wednesday, October 12, 2016, In : D/s Dynamics 


Surprise, surprise. Back to talking about 50 Shades again. Because if there's anything more beloved by the masses than taking BDSM out of context, it's using it to excuse abuse and violation. 

Starting off: there is an extreme difference between Dominance and abuse. That difference is consent. Consent is a ubiquitous necessity, even for vanilla people! A lack of it is what elevates the average sexual experience from intercourse to sexual assault. It's what changes boxing to attempted murder. T...

Continue reading ...
 

Managing a Harem Effectively.

Posted by Madame Rax on Friday, October 7, 2016, In : Personal Interests 
In my time, I've managed quite a few groups of humans. Some of which were lovers, friends, cohabitants, volunteers, slaves. I have had simultaneous lovers living with Me, and I've had lovers living in separate spaces who came together with Me. It can be very difficult to manage these groups, but I've acquired some helpful tips for those who are brave (and perhaps ridiculous) enough to walk in My shoes. But it is also necessary to provide a solid foundation on which to give this information:

Th...
Continue reading ...
 

A Love Letter to Servants and Slaves.

Posted by Madame Rax on Saturday, June 25, 2016, In : Personal Interests 
Despite My very clear and present Atheism, I am incredibly excited by religiosity, particularly of the Christian variety. The imagery, the moral outrage, the judgment, damnation, mortification of the flesh, transmogrification, incest, abuse, torture, withholding, punishment. It's all terribly resplendent to Me, and thus I find Myself very attracted to the deviant, sinful, and immoral behaviors that provoke the wrath of an entire deity. 

We often say in BDSM, that our practice is a "break" from...
Continue reading ...
 

Help! I'm not like this, it's just my fantasy!

Posted by Madame Rax on Friday, June 10, 2016, In : Personal Interests 
Over the years, I have had clients say to Me, "look, I'm really not a misogynist, but I have this overwhelming fantasy of watching women get stabbed in the stomach" - or -"I have this awkward fantasy where I'm yelling racist slurs at people outside my race, and it makes me uncomfortable!"

Know that you are not alone in your apprehension.  

I was speaking to a friend of Mine earlier, and he confided that he was concerned about some of his fetishes, because they involved fantasies which revolved ...
Continue reading ...
 

On Bad Behavior of Submissives Who Seek Pro-Dommes.

Posted by Madame Rax on Saturday, May 28, 2016, In : Sessioning 
Due to the nature of My specific type of BDSM practice, I am woefully disgusted by many things that Dommes endure. When I see reviews of other Dommes using language intended for self-described "whoremonger" review sites. Within the sites that contain testimonials about fellow Dommes in My area, it is not uncommon to see descriptions of body parts or types written as a butcher would describe cuts of their slaughter. For women who don't mind this level of objectification (mind you, I use that t...
Continue reading ...
 

Synergy and the Beast.

Posted by Madame Rax on Saturday, May 21, 2016, In : D/s Dynamics 


In any relationship, BDSM or otherwise, a dance takes place. This sort of dance may be singularly beneficial, separate but equally beneficial, toxic (to one or both, multiplicative or otherwise), or synergistic. The goal of a BDSM relationship, as well as a vanilla one, should be synergy.

To start, synergy is not some sort of "woo" term with metaphysical underpinnings. It's not what powers the imaginary Illuminati. It isn't the stuff Jesus is made of; it's a concrete principle. Simply put, it...
Continue reading ...
 

Living, Breathing TPE.

Posted by Madame Rax on Sunday, April 17, 2016, In : D/s Dynamics 


In the BDSM community, there are quite a few mentions of TPE. This is especially true when discussing fantasies. Despite the fact that there are many fantasy-based desires for a Total Power Exchange, very few people are actually comfortable engaging in it, in real life. Slaves are often afraid to give that much of themselves to another person, even though the thought may temporarily excite them. Given that TPE involves a lack of limits and completely entrenched slavery with potentially very l...

Continue reading ...
 

Structuring of Sessions

Posted by Madame Rax on Sunday, January 31, 2016, In : Sessioning 
There are various ways I conduct sessions (of an online or real-time nature). They can be as high-protocol as necessary, or they can be quite low-protocol. My specific protocol is blended, mostly. Though I do have more formal lines:

Very High Protocol: Militaristic, controlled.

Default State - Silence until spoken to - when answering a question about yourself, answer in third person.
(e.g. "This slave will get no reward, acknowledged, Madame. It has been punished effectively.").
Gesture Command...
Continue reading ...
 

I am not a persona.

Posted by Madame Rax on Friday, December 25, 2015, In : Personal Interests 
In the most vanilla facets of My life -- the mundane experiences any (even Divine) creature among mortals has to face -- I am still extreme.

My favorite things are extremely invasive: the more I know you, your secrets, the things nobody in your life sees except maybe a priest, shrink, best friend, or lover - the better. Even with friends, this is My preference.

Browsing financial transactions, presenting Myself with things straight from the gift-horse, feeling around in your income/debt, decidi...

Continue reading ...
 

Capitalism & Domination: A Love Story

Posted by Madame Rax on Wednesday, November 18, 2015, In : D/s Dynamics 
“Paying for it is a buzzkill.” “I like to have free sessions because it’s more real.” “Other inane platitudes that amount to cheapassery.”

Let’s sit around the campfire and discuss how there is a gulf between submissives and Dommes, in a monetary way. 

First, we shall define money, as provided in a concise sentence provided by Merriam Webster: 


  • Something generally accepted as a medium of exchange, a measure of value, or a means of payment.

When you have the urge to submit to a Dom...

Continue reading ...
 

Non-Erotic Ageplay for Psychological Value

Posted by Madame Rax on Tuesday, November 3, 2015, In : D/s Dynamics 
In reading a chapter from Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission, I had a sudden realization that Ageplay may have a practical application within the confines of even vanilla relationships. 

As children, most humans come from a place of vulnerability and a cycle of needs/wants. As adults, most people who care for various forms of children have an underlying empathy, compassion, and understanding for these tiny people. As well, said adults have a higher degree of conside...

Continue reading ...
 

3 Major Communication Problems & Their Fixes.

Posted by Madame Rax on Monday, September 21, 2015, In : D/s Dynamics 
In life, most people have difficulty arranging the right words to come out of their face at the correct speed, volume, and inflection to achieve optimal results. To make a business deal, get a job, buy a car, negotiate a rent price, receive a promotion - all of these things require great care in communication. 

Enter personal desire: all of the above things, one can argue, are not necessary per se, but integral to happiness or self-efficacy. But, what happens when the thing you crave isn't nec...
Continue reading ...
 

Not just debit card games.

Posted by Madame Rax on Wednesday, August 12, 2015, In : Madame's Own 
Hold account numbers, passwords, access to email, Facebook/SM pages, keyloggers, online text/call/GPS tracker, in-home surveillance with remote viewing, dietary restrictions, occasional Domme-led wishlist spending sprees, booking vacations, occasional assignments, opening lines of credit or loans, blackmail...

These are a few of My favorite things.

Madame.

Continue reading ...
 

Madame's Own Sessions:

Posted by Madame Rax on Monday, February 17, 2014, In : Madame's Own 
There are quite a few unique types of sessions that I've pioneered over the years, and I will share a few now:

1. Bad Girlfriend Sessions: I developed this type of session approximately seven years ago. In a public setting (such as a mall, outlet center, or set of stores), I drag you around, being bossy and pushy (though not too over-the-top if discretion is a must), and do demeaning, nasty things to you. I berate you, have you count every dollar out loud that you give to a cashier, require th...
Continue reading ...
 

Domination in Stages: Hegelian Dialectics and D/s relationships.

Posted by Madame Rax on Sunday, December 15, 2013, In : D/s Dynamics 
In the more philosophy-heavy sects of BDSM, practitioners will discuss Foucault and hierarchies of power. This has an obvious connection: D/s dynamics are reflections of the "natural order" brought about by the human desire for organization. I, however, prefer to make more subtle connections to behavioral mechanisms within My own brand of Domination. I use a system in which I like to draw on an altered form of Hegelian dialectics, specifically the so-called "freedom dialectic" or, more approp...
Continue reading ...
 
 


Love My work?:

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com